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  • Writer's pictureFiona Feeley

Inside out

We’ve all been there. That existential crisis on a Sunday evening where you decide everything needs to change. And you swear you’ll find a new job, new relationship, new body, new mindset. And then the week starts, and your soul focus is on surviving until Friday, only to repeat the process all over again. The thing is, it’s often not our external circumstance that needs to change so much as our internal experience and perspective. So, if you are feeling the Sunday fear, here are some easily implemented, simplistic changes that can make an incredible difference to your life.

Embody kindness in your thoughts and behaviours. Be kind to yourself. We all have a punitive internal critic that does it’s best to convince us of our inadequacies. Creating an awareness of our internal monologue is the first step towards intervening with the self-limiting beliefs we pertain to. This kindness can be extrapolated to others. There is no greater way to uplift your day than by being kind to another. It doesn’t have to be extravagant. Even the smallest gestures or kind words count. Ultimately, one of the most liberating and uplifting concepts to live by is believing that everyone (including you) is are doing their best with the resources available to them.

Practice presence, with yourself and others. Create an awareness of your internal experience; your thoughts and emotions both positive and negative. As you develop this skill, you can slow down intense reactions and challenge maladaptive behaviour patterns. In time, you can work on developing your empathetic abilities. The greater awareness you have of the emotional experience of others, the deeper the connections you can make. We all want to be heard, seen and understood; and yet we forget the reciprocal nature of recognition. Creating a space for others through active listening, empathy and presence paves the way for vulnerability and intensifies our interactions.

Be mindful of the minds tendency to delete, distort and generalise. We see the world through our subjective interpretation which is tainted by our past experiences, our beliefs and the many cognitive biases which although designed to reduce our processing requirements, can greatly hamper our ability to see the full picture.

Try to remain open minded. We fear new ideas, change and uncertainty. As a form of self preservation, we attach to old ideas, ways of thinking and ways of being. Committing to curiosity with open-mind and open-heart propels us to a life of learning and the channels to grow through challenge.

Give yourself full permission to be imperfect, to make mistakes, to start small and to fail. Negative connotations of failure keep us from ever stepping outside of our comfort zone, reducing our aspirations and potential to mere pipe dreams.

You do not need to know your purpose to start living purposefully. Change your internal experience and watch the external world click into place

For any queries on how to live a better life, get in touch by email at

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Twitter: @fundamentallyfi

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