Your wounds are probably not your fault however your healing is your responsibility
Healing past trauma is not an easy process. The reasons we avoid it are many however tend to fall under two main categories Either people are afraid of conjuring up old pain. Or they fear letting go of anger and shame, in a bid to protect themselves from it reoccurring. Either tactic is toxic and although may feel like a protective armour, is ultimately destroy all potential for joy.
When we deny our pain, it festers and will find a way to manifest in self-harm, addiction, depression, physical pain and anxiety. The body keeps score and we will feel exhausted and not know why. Likewise holding onto resentment and anger is like gripping a hot coal. It burns only ourselves and although it feels like it protects us by not letting people in, it ultimately keeps us from the joy of connection and vulnerability. It also punishes the people in our life who committed no crime.
Healing is difficult, traumatic and painful, yet the alternative is excruciating. To live a life half lived, never experiencing the joy of love, trust and fulfilment that healthy relationships can bring. Creating a self-awareness of why we experience life the way we do; an insight into why we feel how we feel and forgiving ourselves for not knowing any other way to cope is a beautiful, fragile journey that touches the heart and soul
We deserve peace, we deserve joy. Shining a light on trauma, pain and suffering and working through the feelings compassionately builds resilience, self-acceptance and a life open to possibility, love and self-actualisation. Embrace forgiveness, release the past and move forwards to an enlightened existence, filled with potential. Don't let those who didn't love you keep you from those who do. Demons only stay where they are welcomed.